I know God is my protector. But it wasn’t until recently that I realized all that He actually protects me from. He protects me from mere humans and from Satan. He protects me from their traps and deceit. But you know what He also protects me from? myself. my heart. my wicked, deceitful heart.
I’m really good at justification. I’d be that child who takes a trophy home for the best excuses and most manipulative. But if I’m not careful I start to manipulate myself. I justify things that I do. My heart is deceitful. My very own heart. But proverbs 4:23 says that very thing that is deceitful is to be guarded, for it determines the course of my life. And that scares me.
It’s been scaring me lately because the last thing I want is for my own heart and feelings to deceive me into doing anything other than whole heartedly loving God and doing His will. Therefore I need to protect my heart. I need to protect what goes into it. I need it to be pure. And I need it to be constantly checked. I need to make sure my heart isn’t left unguarded. But the trouble comes in when I realize I am but a weak human, lacking in the ability to always guard my heart. There are times when I fail.
As the Lord reveals this to me, I’m blown away. The same thing I use to love God is very capable of being unguarded and loving other things above Him and I am at a great risk.
But luckily what God revealed to me doesn’t end there; there is hope. The first realization I came to today was that I am weak and I have a deceitful heart that can easily get entangled in an affair with the things of this world, and I can’t protect it. But to conquer that problem, is a Savior who declares that His strength is made known in my weakness! And I have a jealous God. A God that claims me as His own, and wants me to love Him with everything I am.
My prayer is found throughout scripture. that God would constantly be showing me the depths of my heart and answering my plea to show mercy on me by protecting me because I give myself to Him.
“Prove me, O Lord, and try me;
test my heart and my mind.” (Psalm 26:2 ESV)
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24 ESV)
Preserve my life, for I am godly;
save your servant, who trusts in you—you are my God.
Be gracious to me, O Lord,
for to you do I cry all the day. (Psalm 86:2-3 ESV)
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:7 ESV)
I was talking to a friend one day about how good God is. How He does things that seem crazy. The fact that we can come to Him and ask Him to protect our heart and to help us remain faithful to Him. We compared it to a marriage. Could you imagine your spouse coming up to you saying, ‘listen, I know I am weak. Can you help me to keep my eyes fixed on you? Sometimes I desire other people that aren’t you but help me to be loyal to you. help me to be faithful. I want to give myself to you fully but I suck at it so when I fail to protect myself, please protect me from being unfaithful. Being a married woman, I can assure you that my reaction would be a far cry from the Lord’s response. He calls us His own and wants us to be fully focused on Him. So when we ask for help, He’s faithful to answer.
I give myself to You fully and I ask when I am weak You’d jealously guard and protect my heart, for it is Yours and Yours alone.
I’m really good at justification. I’d be that child who takes a trophy home for the best excuses and most manipulative. But if I’m not careful I start to manipulate myself. I justify things that I do. My heart is deceitful. My very own heart. But proverbs 4:23 says that very thing that is deceitful is to be guarded, for it determines the course of my life. And that scares me.
It’s been scaring me lately because the last thing I want is for my own heart and feelings to deceive me into doing anything other than whole heartedly loving God and doing His will. Therefore I need to protect my heart. I need to protect what goes into it. I need it to be pure. And I need it to be constantly checked. I need to make sure my heart isn’t left unguarded. But the trouble comes in when I realize I am but a weak human, lacking in the ability to always guard my heart. There are times when I fail.
As the Lord reveals this to me, I’m blown away. The same thing I use to love God is very capable of being unguarded and loving other things above Him and I am at a great risk.
But luckily what God revealed to me doesn’t end there; there is hope. The first realization I came to today was that I am weak and I have a deceitful heart that can easily get entangled in an affair with the things of this world, and I can’t protect it. But to conquer that problem, is a Savior who declares that His strength is made known in my weakness! And I have a jealous God. A God that claims me as His own, and wants me to love Him with everything I am.
My prayer is found throughout scripture. that God would constantly be showing me the depths of my heart and answering my plea to show mercy on me by protecting me because I give myself to Him.
“Prove me, O Lord, and try me;
test my heart and my mind.” (Psalm 26:2 ESV)
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-24 ESV)
Preserve my life, for I am godly;
save your servant, who trusts in you—you are my God.
Be gracious to me, O Lord,
for to you do I cry all the day. (Psalm 86:2-3 ESV)
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:7 ESV)
I was talking to a friend one day about how good God is. How He does things that seem crazy. The fact that we can come to Him and ask Him to protect our heart and to help us remain faithful to Him. We compared it to a marriage. Could you imagine your spouse coming up to you saying, ‘listen, I know I am weak. Can you help me to keep my eyes fixed on you? Sometimes I desire other people that aren’t you but help me to be loyal to you. help me to be faithful. I want to give myself to you fully but I suck at it so when I fail to protect myself, please protect me from being unfaithful. Being a married woman, I can assure you that my reaction would be a far cry from the Lord’s response. He calls us His own and wants us to be fully focused on Him. So when we ask for help, He’s faithful to answer.
I give myself to You fully and I ask when I am weak You’d jealously guard and protect my heart, for it is Yours and Yours alone.